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X-MAS EDITION!

Hi there. Its X-mas, and since every blogger doing it, I'm gonna post something for it.

Well, at first, it was supposed to be a co-writing blog, with my marvelous, but full of flu friend Julie. But we did something else. We eat, I guess. And cause of her mother's boyfriend, ... we kind of ESCAPE, the house. So the project kind of, I guess, failed a little. But whatev'! I'm gonna do it alone, cause I'm that awesome. Because it is still x-mas until the 6 of January. In case you didn't know. Everything for holidays ends on this very day. Everyone that still got Christmas decorations, light and stuff, outside, should be slap in the face with a dead fish.

But, cause I'm so good with you, I'm gonna give you this photo of the Culkins:

Isn't that awesome enough to compensate my lack of presence?

I have three or four article I'm on, so, don't give up. I'll be back soon. I'm still in that Unwilling mood, so, I hope it'll get better soon.

Oh gosh, I'm so sorry ><

Like a giant Failjitas

Its fucking not morphing time. Or its that the morphing thingy is over.

I need to explain myself a little.

You see, since my childhood, I got those moment where I'm all " I'm gonna rule the world". In these peculiar times, I either convince myself to be more helpful, or to forget about gratitude for me, or be more in shape, or simply be better man. Whatever.

Its like the whole thing is, not only possible, but also close to me. Like I can FEEL it. I'm gonna be like this or that, maybe not in no time, but I'll be!
But let me tell you, its not like that. In fact, it seems that the harder I try, the less result I got. And so the spiral goes down. Its not only that I don't get the result I wanted. its not about the hard work behind my original intentions. It completely randomize the universe. The simple life equation, like we are told, is : The harder is the effort, the better is the result. Something like "1% talent, 49% will, 50% effort" should be something on what we could rely on. Something we can construct on. Human potential should be the way of life, do what you can, and you cannot do it wrong. But guess what.



I failed it.

My very history, is one of contradiction and irony. The level of random is so high the NASA could not measure it from mars. Like a fajitas you stuff too much: You see its impressive, but you can't really understand the immensity of it, until your put it in your mouth, and realize that you wont be able to finish that bite. And so, even if I'm award of what I can do and what's not even an option, I still try. Cause it may work out. Cause if I put 99% effort more than usual, it'll come out right. But instead, its chaos. Its goes everywhere, and I' much obligated to follow and/or eventually bear the consequences. There's a graphic about the randomness in my life. Look at it, there's some colors!



Like those days at job. Shits happens.


And so then, I get not only no positivity, but I even look like a retarded junk that can't do his job. Maybe I'll should stay behind a desk, and just never leave my chair again. I wish I could survive with this blog. But I'm not that Awesome. Not yet. And that tiny voice in my head (God I hate it) keep telling me that I'll never be. I would be the incarnated being of a thunder god, giant mustached frog, it would not matter. I'm doomed to b the red mage, never a specialist. Like the fajitas is stuck in my mouth, and my throat is playing hide and seek.

EDIT: Ok. so I got some problems with a set of images. I'll need to drawn them again, but separately, it seems. Well, the job-related sketches will be back soon.

EDIT: Well, I don't remember what the picture were supposed to be, so ... forget it. sorry.

Ok, I need you! Be readeay, it fucking Mophing time! *insert epic song here*

I decided (wow), finally (you mean, again), to take myself back. Yes I know, it does not make so mush sens right now. But I started to work out. I mean, by tacking myself back, its against all those bad habits I have. So, it took me over a MONTH to mentally prepare, now I'm really into it. But for how long?

So there you come: I need you to help with my exercise plans. Should I focus on Muscles, or on cardio? Should I level up my alimentation, or completely reject all king of grossy food? Should I work Abs more, instead of my butt? Will I walk for an hour, or jog for 20 minutes a day? You decide. Yes, YOU!

For sure, there is some things I will not be able to do, and some others, that I'll just clear out of my mind. I still got that two job schedule, and my larp stuff and , well, video games too ( and books, and tv show to watch, and comic books to read etc... God, I should stop working, and live from my blog, like Her. Make me FAMOUS!) And for that reasons, I will not be keeping a regular report on my progress, or a "how was my training" vlog. I'll do my very best, as long you encourage me. ... I'll do it anyway, but knowing that you guys ask me to do this stuff that I'll be doing, it'll make it very harder for me to skip it. I would feel way too much culpability to handle it.

So, respond me. Help me a little. And it will really make a change in my life.

Let your suggestions/encouragements in the comment section please :B

UPDATE: Bfriend respond to this. And he just can't make a answer that won't put our personal life up. And that would not make me REALLY uncomfortable to publish. It started well, but, as usual, he failed it.

HARDEST TASK, EVAR!!! OH!, and zombies. And undies.

I'm doing my laundry. In fact, I more like just putting it in my drawers, cause I've done most of the job three days ago. I have SO many cloths... In fact not. I'm just wearing clean stuff that I take directly from a pile on the floor. and put it at the end of the day in another forming pile. Until I don't have anything to wear at all. and since I'm working, and so i must go outside, I STILL need to wash my wearings sometimes... But despise the fact that after 2 days of procrastinations I finally decide to clean the floor (and the chair, and the top of the desk), I manage to get it wrong and do something else at the same time. Like blogging. Its not even a post. Its just a ... I'm not exactly sure what I was going to compare that to but... whatever.

Its been fifteens minutes since I start, and I'd only go trough three undies... that's not productivity. I should work on my LARP too. Like doing enough stuff that I won't need to literally puke ideas from my head 2 days before the due date, so we won't have to run like crazy chickens with AIDS with our arms up in the air while yelling "OMG!OMG!OMG! WHATDOWEDO!OMG!OMG!INEEDAREDBULL!OMG!!ISTHATANELF?". But we would never do that. No. That would be inappropriate, and would not be a lot productive too. In fact, that would be completely inaccurate in any sens of the term "productivity"... 

4 undies, YAY!

I realize now how confusing it sounds to you that I'm packing my privates while blogging about it. Well. Too late. And Its not like you weren't appropriately warned. DON'T YOU JUST HATE IT WHEN YOU SNEEZE SUDDENLY WHILE INFORMING PEOPLE ABOUT OF WELL THEY WERE AWARE OF THERE SITUATION? Me, yes.

I'm in the middle of "The zombie survival guide" reading, and it does not help me at all. All paranoiac that I am, and WAY TO MUCH afraid of the zombies, Its really not a good thing for me. I mean, last night, I let my lamp on, just in case. Even if the manual says the contrary. I take that risk. Living in a basement, If I'm going to die, I'd rather be AWARE of it. I think being wake up be zombies feeding on your limbs is really not ideal. It stressful. And stress is not good for concentration when your planning to escape zombies. neither having zombies already on your limbs is. I think I'll go over Bfriend home tonight. Not that I'm to afraid of being alone, or that he'll protect me (hell no. I should not count on that. Nope. definitely. Not at all. No.). Its all part of a plan. If zombies ever breach into his house, 1: He got a dog that'll probably bark at the zombies. If not, 2: his room is on the second floor. Zombies can't use stairs without a lot of effort, noise, luck and pressure from other zombies (I must precise that they still don't climb the stairs, they just walking one on another. Its more like, they're are climbing, AS MASS) , all together. And if THEN, this security measure should still fail, They will eat him first. His way more louder than me. Sorry Bfriend, I not that I don't wanna save you, its just that I'm not sure that with a hole in your stomach, cause by ghouls heads, even if I manage to save you, you'll be alive. Humanity > logistic. Logistic > stupidity. Sorry. But that does not means that If an outbreak occurs, you should not save me! If I don't have the head of a moaning feeding corpse in my belly, or haven't been bite, help me! You won't go away like that, you jerk! Bet you were thinking " I'm just gonna save my ass, pretexting that its revenge against total logical reasoning" He, guess what, IT WONT HAPPEN LIKE THAT! I'll return as a walking dead and RAPE YOUR SKULL! ... after eating the brain.

6 undies! wahoo!

 Well. I've completely forgot was I was saving for my conclusion. Well. Too bad. I'll do without. I'll join some drawing in near future.

Oignions and other craps. COMMENT ON THIS, OR I'LL BE VERY CREEPY ON MYSELF!

First: Our fabulous french language national office or whatever, decided to change some words for, what they call "the best". Some change are interesting. Some make me really upset for nothing. Like " oignon " becoming "ognion" . WHY DID I SPENT ALL MY LIFE TO CORRECT MYSELF (and others) AND NOW ITS NOT RIGHT ANYMORE? WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?

I'm kind of late on that subject. I started that post long ago and, just think that, if I wasn't able to give you people something to read soon, I'll be dead meat. I mean, is I have a chance, as small it is to be famous, I must at least write something sometimes.  So there you go. And Its all.

No seriously, that is all. I mean, who would read me anyway? Some freaks, or the only 2 regular readers I know? No ones ever leave a comment. Except those that already done it. I should have said "most of those who read me" but I didn't. It express way better how the absence of your appreciation makes me feel. Like NO ONE EVER READ ME! Or wrost, I feel more like you are : "Well, that junk is no worth my superior opinion on any matter. I may be an average fictional person, but I still got will to restrain myself from commenting. " SO COMMENT! Make links! GO NAKED SOMEWHERE AND DO SOMETHING THAT ... wait. No. It may not help me to command you such thing. Forget it. But if you still want to go naked somewhere to publicize me, its your choice. But I do not encourage you to. neither I refrain you to do so.

It's almost 1:00 in the morning. I'm really tired. It normally a normal hour for me to be up, But I didn't get much of a good sleep theses days. And maybe that another reason to either stop blogging, or just go and sleep. Not read about zombies. It would be completly stupid, and unaware of myself. But I'll do it anyway. I'm like that. And I hat it.

Is going nowhere. I made my decision, I turn off the computer. I'm just saying that my futures articles will contains more funny sketches and/or photos.  I hope so.

UPDATE:      I made you a little something:

 It will eat you in your sleep if you dare stop reading me. That's it. It a trap. Anyone who reads this is now and for the rest of his life forced to read AND enjoy AND comment my blog. Still., I'm polite, so I thank you all  for the very kind and prosperous messages you'll send me.

That's not even an update but I'll try my best to entertain you, PALS.

  I've been thinking, again and again, of many funny things, and even funnier way to express them. But as long my brain won't be fix, memory is NOT one of my principal aspect. I mean, If I were a diamond, which could be a really nice title for a song, i would not be perfect. I'm realistic, nobody's perfect. But you would not see some dirt in me, neither those black spot of what I think is stillnottrasformed carbon. Like a cheap toy with bad painting, but that isn't that bad. No spot, no dirt, not really a painting mess. You got it? What was I bringing with that ...Oh, yeah, I can't remember important thing very well, and, since I find that blogging thingy thing reaally dear to me (I love knowing that some stranger are spying my life and though), I lost the count of how many subject I have found already, and thus, forget all of them, leaving me with a small big impression of missing something HUGE. Cause my ideas were awesome, for that I'm sure.

 Oh! And I googled myself few minutes ago, just to confirmed that I'm not findable under, at least, 8 billion of millions of pages, but guess what? :

Yeehoo!

And that not all! That was without safesearch filter on. SO, for I reason I don't even remember (oh I know now: I try shearching some friend, but could only come up with porn artist, even with a name like "Normand", "Bruno", "Valen" or even "Gia Hoi". WTF?), And I found THIS:

AWESOMENESS!

I did not put the names of my fellows, cause I didn't ask them for the pic. ... And so I'll surely never mention it. Please refer to the first paragraph if you can't understand why.

Anyway. I got so overwhelmed with this that I forgot how I wanted to end that post. Well,, too bad. Its late, and some candies over from Halloween are waiting in pain for me.

OMG!

My blanket ate my piercing. I thought it was worth the saying.

Maybe i should explain. I was on youtube, watching =3 (yeah, that's free pub, I know), trying to put a ring in my ear, but I dropped it. In a blanket. A furry, blanket. I look on it. I try to feel the piercings with my hands. It failed. At this moment I thought it surely fell on the floor!

Then, if anyone would had enter the room, He'd see me with my complete arm, under the sofa, on my knees, head on the floor. YEAH, THAT KIND OF POSITION. When the shame completely conquer my brain, and all dignity assure me that the piercing were surely NOT under the couch, I finally conclude that lifting the blanket, and just wait for the rings to fall on the floor was the ideal solution. So, Trying to stand on my legs again, my stupid body decided that it would be a good idea to bump the thermos that I previously placed on the floor. I spilled coffee all over the carpet. Logically, I took the first thing I could find to mope up the mess ... the blanket. My computer, on the blanket, almost fall and destroy tragically from that one feet and half plunge... But for a moment, I was a real ninja, and so I saved my laptop from certain and permanent death. Anyway, from that moment, I completely forgot about my piercings. I check few minutes later, on a sudden enlightenment of my mind, and could'nt find it. Not on the couch, neitheir under or on the floor... The blanket really ate my piercings. 


Nope. You'll have to wait a little more for great blogging content.

I'm too far into blogging to stop now.

Yep. The title says all. I figured myself, lacking the time (aka: being too lazy and irresponsible) to write something else, that if I do not invest myself more, all that stuff about wanting to be famous and/or just make other people laugh would be for nothing. So I give it a go. YAY! I FEEL CONFIDENT!


Last weak I was on a little road trip with my boyfriend (and on that trip was confirmed his incapacity with directions, but we'll talk about that another time), and it was a totally normal trip. Nothing to write about. Oh, and I turned 21. YAY! I FELT CONFIDENT! I, now, is an adult all around the world. whoohee! ... I don't feel really different  about myself, though. But If I have only one message to say, it is destined to the GPS we used... DON'T EVER APPEAR BEFORE ME OR I CHOP YOU WITH ME BARE TEETH!!! I was originally supposed to record funny facts and make a diary-like video of the week, for you, but... I could not do it. ... I'm way too unstable. I wasn't able to keep the beet up. ... After 2 takes. I DON'T FEEL CONFIDENT ANYMORE! ... I just realize that My last three subjects have absolutely NO link at all between them. Well. Too late. I'm too lazy for that too. I mean, to correct it. I'm visibly not lame enough to DON'T put links. Cause I didn't. So I am not... Is that still making sense? ... Anyway. Damned GPS.

Anyway, I'm trying to force myself in writing REAL article, and good stuff. with pictures. And for some of you that may think: "What does he think he is? An artist? Those drawing look like pre-birth rejects, and are the stupidest I ever seen!!!" Well, Mr/Miss imaginary  unfriendly person, let me say that to you: THAT ON PURPOSE!!! PFEH! In your teeth, non- harming concept of mine. ... What was I saying? OH!, yes, .. quality stuff. ... I guess I fail that time too.

Acheivement unlock

Yesterday (well, more before that, actually), I finally got trough all my Deviant Art update. I actually SLEEP till morning. Woohoo!

Anyway, I search, for the past few days, something easy and fast to write on my blog. My mind come across pretty much any stupid Ideas: time laps, squirrel, fish, Subways (the fast-food), chocolate milk, Larp, magic cow, subways (the places), And some squirrel-fish.I think I should let go on coffee. SO I found myself, unable to write, and only posting for maintenance.
After a week of getting only 3 to 5 hours of sleep, my last complete night leaves me with a feeling of displacement, and a extreme none-coordination. I still don't even know if those are words. I still don't mind.

So  I thought, "Wy don't DO write about squirrel!?" (and tought almost the same thing about whales). And right after, I thought that I surrely needed a coffee. Or a incredible source of sugar. OR both. So get coffee, extra sugar.

Its still didn't help. My hands were like "WtF dude? What are we suppose to do NOW? " And now, I take another look at it... And still find it as unthoughtful as speaking about whales and squirrels fighting. But I post it anyway. People MUST  know about my life for that I'm awesome (for being alive at this point of fail-ness).

EDIT: This isn't even a proper post. But who cares. Its been long since I write anything. So there its is. Someone one day said " Its better than nothing! " ... And he was wrong. But still, it was said. So be it.

Games are more measurable than life.

  I don't really know who's reading this, since I don't get much comment. But, I suppose some of you are gamers. At least I am. And I'm kind of selfish, so I'll go over the gaming thingy anyway. But I wanna be famous, so I'll also try to make it KIND OF understandable. Pay atention to the caps. Maybe some of you already know some of this stuff, and therefor, will find it stupid. But its not. Don't you pretend knowing about nuclear fission or matching your shoes with your scarf when you don't. Its still easy for some others. That's the same.

  So, In video games, there is a kind that's call "RPG", standing for "role playing game". Altough ist a very large theme, most of them (and even some game that aren't RPGs) have XP ( for "eXperience Points) in it. And mostly, in games with XPs, you gain level. The more XPs, higher is the level. That basic. If you can comprehend this, give up. Or try to illustrate it with apple quarter, it may help you.

  Levels, represent the experience you character had in its life. Wich explain why the experience points. With level may comes or may not comes abilities. And skills. Only named skills here, for short. Skills are, well, the skills your character gained in its past experiences and adventures. New level unlocks skills before inaccssible. New levels generaly come with music, sound/light effecst with voice or not.

  Well imagine that in life. Some day, your just were just busy with some boring daily stuff, and, suddenly, You got the needed experience to do your job better! Plus, you can now pick up some skill that may even not be related with what you were doing at all! Like a "high jump", or a "mean look of death".

  Seriously. There is more in game to obtain than simply having multiple life. You may come back from the dead, but still, dying (in pain) is normally painfull (yes it is). So instead of returning till you lost all your chances, why not boosting yourself till there is merly no possibilities for you to die? Heroic acts should be rewarded by more than medals. ... Unless medals are acheivements.

  Also, Life should have a difficulty level ajustement. When you started up your day, you should be able to set how hard that day will be. "But everyone will just set it up to easy!!!" you said. " GAME NOOB" I answer. With more difficulties, you gain more XP, so, level up faster. So, knowing that you got a exam to pass, and you don't fucking know anything about it. You wake up, the day of the exam, set your life in easy mode, go to the exam, get a poor nuber of XP, but got a A. That great! You still need to level up befor you can go further, but still, you haven't been kicked out of the place. You may just do some harder stuff on the other days. OR, or, You need to remove weeds from your garden. Its somthing you masterise, and so, find kind of fun and easy. Set up the difficulty to "TOO HARD TO BE NAMEABLE", and go for it! Sure, the weeds may be 5 meters high, be trying to eat you, and bubbling acid dribble that shoot hyper laser, but, that's what extra life are for.

  You see? Games are perfectly balanced for real life, what are we waiting for?

Cosmic laws

  I'm pretty sure of it, there is laws in this universe that we cannot explain, and cannot understand. The murphy law, is one of them. "If there is anything that could go wrong, it will", well, that is a pretty good observation of life. It strange how events seems to wait for you, sneak up behind your back like possessed squirrels and just wait for you to turn around and scream BOOOOAAAAAAHHH!!! I MADE YOUR CHEESE CAKE FAALL!!! MOUHAHA! ... or something of equivalent evilness.

One of those laws, is the "always someone" law.  The principles are quite simple.
SIMPLE EXPLANATIONS TIME!!

1. There was people.
In a reasonnable quantity, people were doing stuff. Annoying you, or not, but still, in a normal proportion.

2. There is less/no more people.
This is the worst part. Cause it gives you HOPE. Hope that, maybe, MAYBE, you afternoon will be smooth and relax. Or that you'll be able to use that arcade thingny if there' no one. Yay! Everything is Perfect! Oh shit, wait... what is that?

3. There is ONE person.
This stage is pretty bad too. At the very moment where you were about to relax, or enjoy that moment only enjoyable if no one bothers you, there IS, actually, someone who show up. Is usually only one, or a small group of friend, or a little familly. But still, with all the hapinness and HOPE that you expected from stage 2, you deal with it, the way you're suppose to. If you're at job, and this is a client, You just do your job. And then, you think, THEN, you'll be able to finally enjoy the... wait. Oh F*ck.

4. There is again, and STILL one person.
Now, depending on your level of hope and your ability to recognize this situation, there is two possibilities, first: You just redo the same step than you just did, still hoping, but less. In the other case, You realise what just started, and face the truth. Your doomed. If you're in the mall, losing your time, that's ok. You just go home. But if going home is not an option... Your definitly Doomed.

5. Fake no one.
This is the step where, if you too depressed, your life is at risk. After several person, that came and go, It seems that, after all, they'll leave you in peace. But you know the trick too well. So you stand still where you are, just waiting the next one to come... and wait... and wait... But never show up. What is bad in this? you ask yourself. Nothing. What is bad, Is, at the VERY moment you just started something, THEN, someone else show up. And there you go over step 3 and 4 again. And, don't try to jump that step, its impervious: no matter how fast you try something else, someones will show up, seconds after you started it. And if you try to stay still, and never do anything else, you will stand like a total moron for hours.

6. The breakdown
All this statistical non-sens will eventually drives you mad, and you will have to expulse all this rage and chaos inside of you. So you tell yourself that the next one, no matter how kind, how young/old, man or woman, at the first faux-pas, WILL SUFFER. So you are there, ready to battle like a USA army based squirrel on steroïds equipped whit ak-47 and machetta, and you just wait. You might even start something else, of your buisness, but only with the mind of make someone show up.
But no one comes. And you stand there, still having this urge of hate and this taste of blood in your belly, but now with a total feeling of emptyness and failure. You might even be sad about it. You could find yourself wishing for someone to surprise you. But no one will.

Hello the World, I'm another Blogger.

*imagine that I enter, after a shy, but perseverant "only the head going out of the door step" look.*

Hi there. My name Is Mike. Mike is enough for you. But if you want, you may call me Maÿk. Or Blog master. Or squeegy, hobbo, banana. Or "HEY YOU! Yes, you! Mutther Fucker". But I prefer not this last one.

Seriously.

There I am, losing my life, losing AT life again, trying to make another attempt to make a blog. Well, Lets start this!

Ok. Its now 10h58, PM, and I'm working tomorrow morning at 6h30 AM. till 2 Pm. And then, AGAIN, 6 PM to 9 PM. WHATTAMAYDOINGUP? Ask me, but don't repeat the answer; I won't listen to myself, I'm even afraid of what I could say. ... I was trying to make a metaphor to picture how much I'm tired, But instead, I found myself writing what I'm failing at, and don't even think its a good enough reason to stop and undo it. I'M THAT TIRED. I suppose I should go to sleep. I will go soon. I'm just trying to make that first post awesome. Something I'm, not only SO failing at, but pushing at the extreme line of the no-turning back idiotity. Is that even a word? Don't know. Don't really want to know, not now. You'll tell me later.

As a matter of explanation, I should say for my defense that I normally use french. I write this in english, as an attempt to reach the maximum people. And Cause I want it too. At first, I tought I should have said something about experiencing in second langage but... Fuck off. Do I need to remember you How tired I Am? I tried to eat earlier:

That's how tired I am. I know, its Scary. I promise I won't do it again. Sorry, so sorry.

Heading to bed.

EDIT: Its idiocy. I know now.  Thanks to my boyfriend T_T

EDIT 2: Thanks to Boyfiend , AGAIN, now I'm praticquel-li eerohrrs, fry-ee *giggles*